Leopards Blog

How to write a paper in college/university:

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your facebook.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your facebook.

10. You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Might as well take a pee wee while you’re at it

13. Check your email. (ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?)

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Call someone

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You’ve probably run out.

19. While you’ve got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your facebook.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Call your mom, it’s been a while.

23. Go outside for a while

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven’t started either.

26. Check your facebook.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Take a bathroom break

29. Check your email and listen to your new music.

30. Add some new dashboard apps for your mac.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your facebook.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.